When I met with my boss yesterday to make a project proposal, he was really frustrating. I created a very detailed schedule with good reasoning for all the time frames.
All my boss cared about was the final output and, he insisted that we deliver two weeks early! It’s unrealistic and it’s unreasonable. I want him to understand all the thought we put into the proposal.
Yes, it can be frustrating when we feel that we’re not being heard and not being appreciated. So, I can see how you might feel your preparation was disregarded and you did not get the respect you needed.
I get that, AND I have a different perspective to offer here.
I suspect your boss has a D (or Dominance) style on the DiSC model. The other letters stand for influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. People with a D style are focused on tasks (in contrast to relationships), and are more likely to tell and direct (vs. ask and follow).
Given their emphasis on results, Ds are often only marginally interested in the details of execution and the people impact.
The DiSC model is widely used around the world for professional development and has been established as reliable and valid.
It’s an assessment that helps people learn about their own behavior and communication style, that of others, and how they can flex to meet someone on their terms for better outcomes.
It’s a tool that enables communication agility for better relationships and greater influence.
Let’s look at the whole model.
The two in the top half – D and I – are active, fast-paced, assertive and bold. The bottom half – C and S – are more thoughtful, slower-paced, calm, and careful.
The left side is task oriented and the right side is relationship oriented.
At the risk of oversimplifying or stereotyping, you might think of the styles like this:
- Dominance – Senior business executive focused on driving results
- influence – Fast-moving, gregarious salesperson full of possibilities and little interest in details
- Steadiness – People-centric HR leader concerned about harmony and consensus
- Conscientiousness – Data analyst emphasizing orderly process and verifying details
When someone takes the Everything DiSC assessment, they receive a report that includes a graphic with a dot on the circle.
Depending on its placement, the dot can represent just one of the four DiSC types or it can be a mix of two types, or even with some of a third type.
DiSC does a very good job of capturing the nuances of individuals and so it’s no surprise my clients remark on how accurate the narrative is in describing them.
I tell my clients that there truly is no bad place to be on the circle. Each type contributes value. If a type is missing or underrepresented on a team, it shows up as dysfunction.
It’s important to know that we are not limited by our type. We can and do behave against our natural type.
The difference is our type is a comfort zone and typically we can function in that way for long periods of time without undue fatigue. Operating against type is tiring.
Our data analyst (the C) can work on spreadsheets for a long time comfortably but is drained by mixing at a large convention reception.
Our gregarious salesperson (i), however, is drained by an hour with the spreadsheets and energized by socializing at the reception.
I use DiSC with all my executive and career coaching clients. It helps managers and leaders to strengthen their emotional intelligence for more effective communication. It also helps those in career transition identify the roles for which they are a natural fit.
Beyond the basic assessment of an individual’s DiSC type, there is a whole suite of different reports available. I often use the leadership version, or the versions that report on productive conflict or a leadership team’s group culture.
I’m such a believer in the power and value of DiSC, I would be happy to make the assessment available to you or anyone else who is a reader of Dear Springboard at a discount of at least 10%.
That offer applies to individuals and also for corporate accounts. Just write Lawrence@SpringboardUnlimited.com with DiSC Discount in the subject line.
FF, one of the important takeaways from working with DiSC is that we don’t have to take another person’s behavior personally.
We can recognize that it is their style and understand it’s not about us. We can be intentional and learn how to work effectively with many different styles.
All that said, don’t give up on doing your best and in your way. That’s your unique contribution and it is valued.
From the Watercooler
We tend to see things as we are, not as they actually are.